Sir Buffoon
by TekeoMiona
Summary: NSS. Random, random, random. that's all this story is folks. got bored, started writing randomly, not even thinking just making up as i went along. idk if it'll go anywhere or not. so, either enjoy, or wonder about my sanity. you are free to choose. :3
1. Sir Buffoon Introduced

**Hey guys! Another random story that popped into my head. NO idea where it's going, it's just going. And I'm having to just copy and past crap onto stuff I already have loaded 'cause for some reason I can't upload stuff right now. Stupid microsoft word. *sigh* Anywho, yeah this is mostly told from Burt's pov. Enjoy, review, no flames. I kinda like the way I'm writing it. 'S different. And just so ya know, NSS stands for Non-Serious Story. which means i'm not _planning _to finish it, it's just a story i'm writing randomly when i have nothing else to do and can't concentrate on my other stories. so...ja. have fun reading! :D**

**Disclaimer: NOT MINE! all i own in this story is the plot, Sir Buffoon, and the terrible Tyler wumping (please don't kill me).**

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><p><span>Sir Buffoon Introduced<span>

I'm not sure what's worse right now. The fact that some over-muscled buffoon managed to break into my bunker, or that said over-muscled buffoon is now telling me that I brought this on myself for ruining his life all those years ago. I have no idea what he's talking about. Pretty sure I would remember someone like him. He looks like a body-builder on steroids. Ok, so maybe not that big but…well he's a lot bigger than me is the point. Not to mention he's got a pretty big pose with him, two of which are holding me by the arms. I have a feeling I'm not getting out of this very easily, which is annoying me to no end. I leave Perfection for 4 days for lectures and I come home to some idiot I don't know blaming me for something I didn't do.

"HEY! Are you listening to me?" No. "I promised myself back then that I would get revenge for what you did to me. And now I can." Buffoon's breath smells like a mixture of cigar smoke, beer, and something else I'm not keen on knowing. Nice.

"Look Mr., co-"

"SIR!"

"What?" I glance over to find another, smaller buffoon glaring at me full force.

"You will address him as, _Sir,_" he replies heatedly.

I roll my eyes and turn back to _Sir_ Buffoon. "Fine. Look_ Sir_, could you at least tell me what it is I did to you _exactly_ before erecting your revenge on me?"

He glares. Badly. Damn, even Larry can glare better than that. "If you don't remember then that's your problem. Either way you're paying for it." He motions at the two holding me as he stomps off into _my_ safe room. "Throw him back with the other one."

_Other one?_ My guards tighten their grip on me and drag me down to my bedroom, open the door, toss me inside like I'm a sack of potatoes, and slam the door shut and lock it. I glare after them a moment before picking myself off the floor. Such gentlemen. And what the hell did he mean by _other one?_

I turn around to survey the room and my eyes are instantly drawn to the lump on my bed. I hurry over, not even needing to turn him over to know who it is. Hell, he's the only one in town with that messy, reddish-brown hair.

"Tyler?" I shake him gently. A pair of handcuffs anchors him to the bed and it's obvious from the blood smears on his arms that he had been struggling. His wrists are red and scabby from rubbing and the cuffs themselves are so tight they're digging into his skin. There's also a remarkably hand shaped bruise around his throat and he looks a little pale. What the hell had Sir Buffoon and his men been doing to him?

I shake him again a little harder. He opens his eyes slowly and stares at me for a moment before he recognizes me.

"Burt?" His voice sounds weak and scratchy. "What are you doing here?"

"I could ask the same of you. What happened? And who are those guys out there?" I dig around in my vest pockets for moment and pull out a small pick and set to work on the cuffs.

"Old friends of yours I guess. Said something about revenge on you and I'm supposed to help him somehow." He winces as I finally free his hands from the restraints. His wrists look a lot worse now. I help him sit up and inspect the bruise on his neck.

"Where'd this come from?"

"The boss guy's got a thing for choking people I guess." He sways a little and now that I can see him better I notice something else and my eyes narrow.

"Tyler, when was the last time you ate anything?"

"…Nancy's pasta 'fore you left."

"What? Tyler that was 4 days ago! When did they grab you?"

"Mornin' after. I was supposed to go to Rosalita's' early to fix…something in her car before she left for Bixby but I woke up late. Figured I'd grab somethin' there but when I was driving by I noticed a black sedan inside your compound so I stopped to investigate. Someone nabbed me on the steps."

Great. Now if only I had thought to stop in town on my way home I might've realized this sooner. Then again we'd probably still be in the same situation. So never mind.

I sigh heavily. This wasn't going to be a good day. "Come on." I grab Tylers' arms and pull him to his feet. Lying tied up on a bed with no food for 4 days had taken its toll. His legs are too weak to hold him up and I almost end up having to carry him over to the 2nd bathroom joined to my room. Which is good because I doubt Sir Buffoon would let us use the one in the safe room.

I help him sit down on the floor against the wall and then grab a towel, soap, peroxide, and a bowl I left in the bathroom for these purposes, filling it with warm water.

"Here," I sit the bowl of water on his lap carefully before sitting down. "Soak your hands in it for awhile. Might help." He obeys quietly, wincing a little as his wounds connect with the water. After awhile I wet part of the towel and add some soap and gently start cleaning his wrists.

I just finish applying the bandages when 3 of our captors storm into the room. Sir Buffoon glares at Tyler but doesn't say anything. He just throws an MRE at us and leaves. The other two stay behind, standing on either side of the door.

"Hurry up. We leave in 20 minutes."

"Where are we going?"

The guard just glares at me. Again. These people really like glaring.

I shrug and pick up the MRE, pulling out a small piece and handing it to Tyler. I watch to make sure he doesn't eat it too fast. Honestly I'd rather not give Tyler any solid food but since we probably won't get anything else for awhile it's the best I can do.

It angers me that someone would do this. Sir Buffoon said he was mad at _me_ so why drag Tyler into this? How is he supposed to help the idiot get revenge? And why starve him? I mean really, what good is starving someone you need to use? These guys are a bunch of idiots, Sir Buffoon the biggest one of all. To top it all off I _still_ don't know why he's mad at me anyway. And for some reason I have the strangest feeling things were just going to get a whole lot worse.

Sometimes, I really hate my life.

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><p><strong>Ja, ja, i know, it's weird. but please still review. pwetty pwease? *puppy eyes*<strong>


	2. Aliens for no Reason

**Hey ya'll! Got bored again today so I decided to continue Sir Buffoon. As I warned you in the summary, this is complete and utter nonsense that I make up as I go. You have permission to be completely and utterly confused. :D It is really funny though, and a little less serious than the first chapter. So, uh, read on!**

***DISCLAIMER* NOT MINE!**

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><p><span>Aliens for no Reason<span>

Well, that had been…..odd. Tyler and I had been loaded into one of three black sedans that hadn't been outside when I arrived. Then we drove for about 3 hours, took a quick restroom break, and started driving again. For about 30 minutes. That's when things turned weird….er…again. How? Well, we were rescued. By unicorns. I have no idea where they came from or if they really were unicorns but that's what I saw and I'm sticking with it. Mostly just because it's too confusing to think of another explanation.

On the bright side they killed everyone in the car we were in. At least I think they killed them. They stabbed all the buffoons in the forehead and they disappeared. I guess that's close enough. For a moment I thought they were gonna kill Tyler too, because one of them rushed at him but instead of disappearing he just healed. Every cut and bruise vanished and the color came back to his face and he was no longer half-starved. And then it let out some garbled noise that I think was supposed to be words, Tyler grinned like a cheeky monkey, and the unicorns ran off over the horizon. All in all, it was the strangest rescue I have ever been through.

Now, we're walking through the desert trying to find the nearest town so we can get back to Perfection. Tyler seems to be back to his usual self, maybe a little more hyper, but more or less the same. Which is probably how I'm suddenly in a very confusing conversation about aliens.

"Did you know there's about UFO sightings worldwide each year?"

"No. And how the hell do _you _know that?"

Tyler just shrugs. "Larry told me. Although there are some who say it's just 600 to 650. But seriously Burt. Haven't you ever wondered if there really is life out there?"

"No. But," I raise a hand to keep him from interrupting me. "That doesn't mean I don't believe it. I'm sure the universe is big enough to accommodate several other life-filled planets. I just think it's ludicrous that aliens land here and perform crazy experiments on us and take people up into their spaceships."

"Yeah, but not _all_ of those sightings can be wrong can they? I mean, there are perfectly sensible people like you and me who have seen them. Don't you think it's possible that at least _some_ of those UFOs really are alien spacecraft?"

"It's _possible_. But not likely."

Tyler rolls his eyes. "You're missing the point, Burt."

"I didn't know there was a point to this." That earns me another glare. It must be 'Glare at Burt' week.

"Look, if it's possible that some of the UFO sightings are real, then that means that some of the alien abductions could be real too. Who knows, Burt. You could be brainwashed to think aliens don't come here in order to cast doubt on the rest of the human race."

"….what?"

"I mean, _Burt_ may not really think that aliens don't come here. He may believe that they do and maybe have even taken over our government. So the aliens brainwashed him so_ you_ believe that they _don't_ come here and that the government is just full of a bunch of idiotic, self-serving, snobs."

"…..I am Burt."

"Yeah I know."

"So?"

"So what?"

"So, what are you talking about?"

"Oh, for," Tyler rolls his eyes again, as if _I'm _the one at fault here. "If you would listen to what I'm saying you would know."

"I am listening; you're just not making any sense!"

"Well neither are you!"

"How?"

"I-I don't know you're just not!"

Ok, when the hell did this turn into a shouting match? I shake my head and try to make at least _some_ sense of the situation. Conclusion: there is none.

"Oh, hey look. It's a UFO," Tyler says, as if it's the most normal thing in the world.

I look up and sure enough, there's a large flying saucer heading right for us. Of course. Because this day hasn't been weird enough already.

The now identified flying object stops and hovers 6 feet above us. And then…..a ladder comes down with a large, red, flashing arrow pointing up into the ship. I know I've never paid much attention to alien movies but I'm pretty sure the whole 'alien abduction' thing was done by a creepy colored light lifting you up into the sky; not by offering you a tour with a flashing arrow when you could easily turn and walk away. Which I was all ready to do, eager to get home and pretend these last 17 hours had never happened. And if I was alone, I would have done just that. Unfortunately, I was with Tyler, who I swear must have been a cat in an earlier life. He wasted no time climbing up the ladder and disappearing inside the ship.

"Come on, Burt!"

"Suuuure, why not? 'Cause what could possibly go wrong by climbing into an alien spaceship that comes out of nowhere?"

"Nothing!" I glare up into the darkness as I climb the ladder. I was pretty sure I had mumbled that under my breath so I have no idea how Tyler heard me. I also have no idea why he sounded so happy and confident either.

He answers that question as soon as I'm inside.

"They're friendly!"

"How could you possibly know that?"

"They're friends with Larry!" Tyler looks like he's about to explode from excitement.

"Yeah and how do you know this isn't an example of their brainwashing you were just talking about?"

"Brainwash Larry? You really think that's possible?"

Now it's my turn to roll my eyes. "I meant _you_, Mr. Know-it-all."

"Oh," he grins again. "'Cause Larry's here too."

"Hi Burt!"

You have got to be kidding me. I look around and notice a small TV sitting on a strange, alien-looking table. And on the screen, waving at me and grinning from ear to ear; is none other than Lawrence Norvel.

"Larry, what the hell are you doing here?"

"The unicorns managed to get a call through to the Bluglefluhgs before they had to leave and told them what had happened. So they picked me up and we came to pick you up."

"Blugle-whos?"

"Fluhgs. That's the name of their race."

"Oh." Well, now everything makes sense. Not.

"Follow the arrows and they'll show you the way to the cockpit. See you there."

Larry disappears from the screen and a row of more red arrows lead down a hallway. Again, Tyler was the first to walk, or bounce really, after the arrows. I have no idea how he thinks any of this is normal. Maybe he really is brainwashed.

I follow reluctantly and we come to a fairly large room filled with flashing lights, buttons, and chairs. Tyler looks around and for once actually looks a little confused.

"Strange looking cockpit. It's even weirder than your place."

I'm half tempted to whack him up the side of the head but Larry and several strange creatures I'm guessing are Bluglefluhgs come in from the other side of the room.

"Hey, guys!" he gestures to the creatures behind him. "This is Glumpfhorf, Hmpflag, and Stephanie. Guys, these are my nnmfluhgs, Burt and Tyler."

"We're your what?" Thank god, I'm not the only one confused!

"Nnmfluhgs. It's like," Larry paused for a moment. "Really close friends that are almost family but not really. That's what they see us as."

"Cool. So you know how to speak their language?" Tyler's eyes are lighting up almost as much as they do when a 'really awesome, limited-edition' vehicle comes into town.

"Some of it. Luckily, they understand the English language, although they can't speak it. Their mouths aren't formed right for it."

"Yeah, that's nice. Now could you please explain to me why we're here? And I don't mean on the spaceship, I mean in this whole whacked up situation."

One of the aliens, Glumpfhorf I think, answers me. It sounds like a bunch of garbled words close to what the unicorns used. Larry translates quickly.

"He says that there is a lot to go through so he will wait until morning to explain. For now you guys can sleep in one of the guest rooms and eat supper. They have some human food so don't worry. You don't have to eat alien food." He grimaced slightly. "It's not exactly very appetizing."

Sleep. Good. That I can stand as a delay until the explanation. Larry leads us down another hallway to a large bedroom with two large beds.

"Stephanie will be by with some food in a few minutes. See you in the morning."

Tyler immediately flops down on one of the beds and sighs happily. "This has to be the most comfortable bed I've have ever been on."

He's right. They are really comfortable. I sit down and slowly take off my boots, thinking about the strange events since I had returned home and wondering what Sir Buffoon had to do with unicorns and aliens.

"Do you find it weird that Glumpfhorf and Hmpflag have such weird names and Stephanie's is completely normal?" Tyler asks.

"Yes, it's quite ironic."

"So, what do think this is all about?"

"I don't know. I still don't even know what Sir Buffoon was talking about back at my house. None of it makes any sense."

"Yeah. It's kinda creepy."

I glance over at him in surprise. "I thought none of this bothered you from the way you were acting."

"_Acting_ being the operative word. I haven't the faintest idea what's going on, I just go along with it. I've found it can make things feel less confusing that way. Sometimes, anyway."

"And is this one of those times?"

"Nope."

"Hmm. Well, hopefully things'll make more sense in the morning."

Stephanie came in just then, carrying a tray of burgers and French fries. Not one my favourite foods but I'm so hungry right now I can't bring myself to care. Tyler and I dig in and finish in record time. We fall into bed as soon as we're finished and fall asleep instantly. I'm pretty sure neither of us are gonna dream tonight.

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><p><strong>Well, there ya go. I hope I didn't totally mush up your brain. and even if this is a non-serious story, i still look forward to your reviews!<strong>


	3. Bluhgledorg

**OhhhhhhhhhhhhhMCheese, third update today -_-' I'm tired. But hadta empty my head some. Welp...new planet in here...perverted plants (don't ask)...a booming voice...an i'm pretty sure i made a hole in the wall.**

***DISCLAIMER* NOT MINE. REALLY, I DISOWN THIS FIC. IT'S ALL...UM...IT'S MELVIN'S FAULT! THAT LITTLE TURD MADE ME DO THIS.**

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><p><em><strong>Bluhgledorf<strong>_

There's something on my face. It's wet, it's squishy, it smells weird, and it's not how I prefer to wake up in the morning. I open my eyes and push myself up on my elbows to find…..a thing. Lying on the pillow next to me with what I'm assuming is its disturbingly long tail draped across my shoulders. Other than that it's just a shapeless blob.

Moving carefully to keep from waking whatever it is up I slide out from underneath it and off the bed. No sooner do my feet hit the floor when suddenly the thing wakes up and lets out a strange squeal, startling me and waking up Tyler who is unfortunately lying on the edge of his bed. He starts, falling off the bed and landing on the floor with a rather undignified squeak.

"Ow!" he sits up, rubbing his back and looks around the room, his eyes catching the strange thing still on my bed. "What the heck is that?"

I shrug but before I can say anything the thing suddenly lifts what I thought was its tail and stares at me with large round eyes and starts chewing me out with loud screeches and squeals and bobbing its head in some sort of 'oh no you didn't' motion. Then it pulls its tail…er….neck…back into its blobby body and rolls off my bed and out the door with an arrogant air about it that reminds me of a cat. I stare after it for a moment before turning back to Tyler. He's staring at the door with a look on his face that suggests he's still half asleep and trying to figure out what happened. I don't really know either but I figure I can ask Larry later on. Tyler seems to have a different idea of how to handle it though. He gets up, wraps his blanket around him, falls onto the bed, and goes back to sleep. Guess that's one way to handle a confusing situation in the morning.

I slip my boots on and shuffle out the door. The blobcat is nowhere to be seen so I make my way down the corridor to the cockpit. Unfortunately, the only one there is…..one of the Bluglefluhgs, which one exactly I have no idea. They all look the same, almost as if they're all clones. It's a little creepy. Thankfully, it didn't talk to me so I don't have to try and figure it out.

I look out the window and see nothing but a dark sky. Which is strange since I could have sworn it was morning already. Unless….

"Cool, huh?" Larry comes up behind me, looking out the window.

"Are we…"

"In space? Well were else would you take a spaceship?" Larry grins.

"Where are we going?"

"Bluhgledorf."

"What?"

Larry's grin grew wider. "Their planet. It's in the next galaxy over. We're near it now though; you missed the cool blue streak of light speed."

"Oh," I turn to stare out the window again and now that I realize what I'm looking at I realize the stars kinda look bigger than they usually are. There's also a rather large purple planet in front of us. And by 'rather large' I mean HUGE. I didn't think planets could get that big.

"What the heck is that?" a familiar sleepy voice behind me. I turn around to look at Tyler who apparently decided to get up.

"Their planet, Bluhgledorf," I replied, watching as he just kinda stares out the window. He's obviously not much of a morning thinker.

"We're going to speak to Caesar," Larry explains. His explanation only results in odd looks.

"Like the salad?" Tyler asked. "Or the dude?"

"Like the blob. He's the leader of the Bluglefluhgs and he wants to talk to you guys about that dude who took you."

"Sir Buffoon?" I frown. Honestly, why was this guy so important?

Larry nodded. "Apparently he's an old friend."

Tyler grunted, rubbing his wrists as if he can still feel the wounds there. "Some friend."

The Bluglefluhg piloting the ship suddenly turned and said something to Larry.

"Oo, great! We get to have lunch in the Tralahg!" Larry grinned happily. I didn't see the importance of it. Tyler was too tired to care.

And then we were standing in a dark purple and blue garden surrounded by odd bugs, creepy animals, and strange moving plants that knew _nothing_ of personal space.

Tyler yelped as one grabbed his butt with its odd claw-like stem and jumped sideways into me. "What the heck, why the hell are we in a perverted garden?"

"It's not perverted, they're just inspecting you," Larry replied behind us. "They've never really seen humans before. And they can't really _see _either, or hear. So they use touch. Plus, Bluglefluhgs don't have 'personal areas' like we do."

"It's still perverted," Tyler replied adamantly.

I had to agree with him on that. No matter how innocent the actions were, the touching was disturbing, even when it wasn't in a 'personal area'. The plants were slimy and smelled weird too. Plus, plants weren't supposed to move. That was just a plain golden rule that shouldn't be broken.

Larry just laughed and led us towards a large blobby building. I think 'Blobby People' would have been a better name for these creatures. I tried to concentrate on that and the building and ignore the touchy plants. But then Tyler had to point out something _totally_ unfair.

"How come they're not touchin' you?"

"Hm?" Larry glanced at the plants. "Oh, 'cause I've been here before so they know me already."

"You've been here before?" I look at him incredulously.

"Yep. Quite a few times actually, although it's been a couple months since my last visit."

I just stared at him. Tyler glared at him. And the plants ignored him.

"MMMMMMMFLUMMMMMMMMMMMGLAAAA!"

I don't even want to know what that was. I don't think Tyler does either. Larry just grins though.

"Mmmmmmgluhhhhhhhhhhblanaba!" he replies.

Tyler leans closer to whisper in my ear. "Who's he talkin' to?"

"I have no idea," I whisper back, searching the garden and what I guess is what passes as a porch in this world in front of us for some creature or giant plant or unicorn or something. But I don't see anything.

The booming voice sounds off again and Larry hurries us forward eagerly. "Come on, let's get inside before the chapter ends."

"Huh?" Tyler looks so confused right now. I think waking up to having his partner chewed out by a blobcat jinxed him. Then again I have no idea what's going on either.

"The chapter," Larry repeats like that explains everything. It doesn't. He sighed. "If we're caught outside when the chapter ends we're gonna be locked out. Come on."

We run the last stretch of garden and come to a door. And the only reason I know that is because Larry said, "Here's the door," when we got to it. It looks like everything else I don't even know what he's referring to really.

He ushers us inside (a rather slimy experience) and we find ourselves in the largest room I have ever seen.

"Whew, we made it," Larry said relieved.

I still have no idea what the hell he's talking about.

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><p><strong>Yeah...idk :...well, review or whatever.**


	4. Random Change

**My block break has a new chapter of weirdness. Yesterday was an odd day fer me, mentally. Enjoy.**

**Oh, and to anyone who tries to message me fer whatever reason (mostly sky at the moment), I won't be on fer a couple days, probably. My rabbit chewed through the power cord of our modem, so no interwebs. I'm currently melting in a car outside the public library right now. So, yeah. See y'all later.**

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><p>This place just isn't right. For starters, Tyler has a fishtail and longer hair. Larry shape-shifted into a damn rabbit right in front of my eyes. And I'm pretty sure I'm standing on all fours and have a tail coming out my butt.<p>

This place ain't right.

"Larryyyyyy," I growl angrily. Really growl, apparently, because he looks at me in confusion instead of responding.

Tyler, who had predictably fallen over when his legs disappeared, sat up slowly, staring at his tail with wide eyes. "What the….?"

Larry turns to him and all I hear is squeaking. He sounds like a mouse, not a rabbit. Although….now that I think about it, I'm not really sure what sound a rabbit makes.

"What do you mean you don't know?" Tyler shouts.

"You can understand him?" I ask in amazement.

Tyler turns to stare at me. "Of course I can understand him, he's still speaking English. You can't?"

"No."

Larry squeaks in what I suppose is agreement because Tyler frowns back at him. None of this makes sense.

"What did he mean he didn't know what was going on?" I ask.

Tyler repeats the question and Larry launches into a barrage of squeaks and huffs. Tyler raises his eyebrows at one point, and going by Larry's body movements, I can only guess he's ranting about something in a way he doesn't usually do.

"I guess this has never happened before," Tyler told me after Larry was finished.

"Mmmflah blahmaha qwuffle lex."

The three of us turn to the strange voice to see another blob standing in the middle of the room. Tyler and I stare at him for a moment before turning to Larry. Another bout of squeaks before Tyler has the answer.

"They don't know either."

Well that's helpful.

The blob moves on to do blobby things or whatever, leaving us to sit and wait. I take the time to give ourselves a good looking over. I've turned into a gray wolf. Cliché. Larry's a completely black rabbit, but his ears aren't floppy. Not cliché. Tyler's the most interesting change. He's definitely a merman, but he looks a bit fishier than the stereotypical merperson in stories. The scales cover his entire body, although much smaller on his top half. A flimsy….dorsal fin, I guess….stretches down the middle of his back from just under his shoulder blades to the tip of his tail, tapering off. As for his color, his tail is a deep, faded blue, the color fading into a medium taint in his upper scales. He also has a set of gills on each side of his sides.

"This is weird," I mumble.

"No kiddin'," Tyler said, flopping his tail experimentally. Larry squeaks something. Tyler glances at him. "Thanks."

The blob returns, shouting something in blob-language, before shoving his hand into the wall and pulling something. The next thing I know, we're falling. I try to reach out with my hands to stop myself before remembering I no longer have hands. Then I'm hitting something squishy and smooth and now I'm sliding. I manage to sit up, but I'm turned backwards and going too fast to turn around without falling over. Larry comes sliding down behind…or in front….of me, landing against my legs. He squeaks something in what I can only guess is terror.

The slide ends, my butt sliding onto dirt and grass and making me fall over backwards. Larry lands on my face, clinging with his way-too-sharp claws. Yelping in pain, I toss him off and scramble to my paws, shaking myself vigorously. Bluglefluhg slime does _not_ feel nice.

Looking around, I see we've landed in some sort of glade that amazingly looks earth-like. It's a pleasant change of scenery, and I never thought I would be so glad to see plain old grass again. There's a fairly large lake nearby, taking up about half the meadow that's surrounded by large trees. Redwoods, if I'm correct.

Larry squeaks something and I look down at him. He's looking around for something, and it takes me a moment to realize I don't see Tyler anywhere. I glance over to the lake. He was a merman now, after all.

I pad over and look down into the water. The bank drops down immediately instead of sloping out, looking more like a canyon filled with water instead of regular lake. It's amazingly clear though and I can see the bottom perfectly. Seconds later I see Tyler, swimming towards me like…well….a fish. He pops up with a grin.

"The water is _amazing_, Burt! Plus I can breathe better. I didn't realize I was struggling earlier. It's so weird."

It would seem that the old happy-go-lucky Tyler I know so well has returned. I guess he went back to his "going with the flow" routine from all the confusion. To be honest, I don't blame him. I wish I could do the same. My brain hurts.

"Right." I sit down and thump my tail against the ground several times. "So now what?"

Tyler looks at Larry. Larry just huffs. I sigh.

We sit in silence for a few minutes before Tyler pushes away from the edge of the lake. "Well, if we're just gonna sit here, I'm gonna go explore. There's a lot of little caverns along the bottom of the lake."

He dove beneath the surface and disappeared into a cavern just beneath us. I laid down, resting my muzzle on my paws at the edge of the lake to watch and wait. Larry plops down beside me and falls asleep.

Almost half an hour goes by before Tyler reappears from the cave. He hadn't been exaggerating, there were a lot in the lake. I've counted 56 so far, and that's only from what I can see. Some edges are too far away for me to make out.

I guess he didn't find anything interesting because he doesn't come up, but continues on to the next one. For a moment I'm surprised at how long he's been underwater without coming up for air, before remembering he has gills and doesn't _need_ to come up for air. That's something that's going to take some getting used to.

He's only in the next one for about five seconds before he comes streaking back out at a surprising speed. Something else is right behind him, but what it is, I can't tell. I jump to my feet before realizing there's no way I can help him in my current form. Not while he's down there at least.

Instead, I can only watch as he plays tag with the other creature. He manages to stay just beyond its reach, but it doesn't seem to be tiring. After several minutes though, it seems fairly satisfied with itself and stops. I can make it out now. Some sort of octopus, or squid, I think. It turns back and speeds back to its cave, leaving Tyler in the middle of the lake.

Tyler stays put for a few moments before heading up towards me. I step back as he breaks through the surface, flopping his arms and face onto the grass.

"What was that about?" I ask.

He turns his head to give me a strange look. "I got no idea…but it sounded a heck of a lot like a cheeto."

I stare at him quizzically. "What the hell does a cheeto sound like?"

"I dunno, but that's what came to mind when it was screaming at me."

I shake my head. Tyler has the weirdest way of explaining things sometimes. He really does.

"You think this is permanent?" Tyler asks suddenly.

"I don't know. I hope not." I glance back at my own furry body, noticing Larry is still fast asleep on the ground. Twerp.

Tyler gives a thoughtful hum and then he's off again. I watch him swim in the other direction to avoid the "cheeto" cave. Sighing, I lay down again and curl up. I need a nap too.


End file.
